The Ballad Of Dorothy Parker
Recorded: March 15, 1986
Released: March 31, 1987
Album: Sign '☮' The Times (4th track)

Written by Prince.
© 1987 NPG Records, excl. 2 Legacy Recordings
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Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde, tall & fine
She got a lot of tips

Earlier 'd been talkin' stuff N a violent room
Fightin' with lovers past
needed some1 with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast

"Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, ain't 2 hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said, "It sound like a real man 2 me
U'r kinda cute, do U wanna take a bath?"
(Do U wanna, do U wanna?)

Oh, said, "Cool, but 'm leavin' my pants on
("What U say?")
Cuz 'm kinda goin' with some1"
She said, "Sound like a real man 2 me
Mind if turn on the radio?"

"Oh, my favorite song," she said
& it was Joni singin', "Help me, think 'm falling"
Brrring! The phone rang & she said
"Whoever's callin' can't B as cute as U"
Right then & there knew was thru
Dorothy Parker was cool

My pants were wet, they came off
But she didn't C the movie cuz she hadn't read the book 1st
Instead she pretended she was blind
An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh (Haha-haha)
felt much better so went back, huh, 2 the violent room
(Tell us what U did, what U did)
Let me tell U what did

took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time 'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker...
Dorothy Parker...

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

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