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The Ballad Of Dorothy Parker
Recorded on March 15, 1986 for the aborted Dream Factory and Cyrstal Ball albums (1986), instead released as the 4th track on Sign "" The Times album (March 31, 1987). A live version appears on One Nite Alone... The Aftershow: It Ain't Over (2002). Written by Prince.

 
Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
She got a lot of tips

Well...
Earlier I'd been talkin' stuff n a violent room
Fightin' with lover's past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast

Well...
I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said, "It sound like a real man 2 me
U're kinda cute, do U wanna take a bath?" (Do U wanna? Do U wanna?)
Bath

Oh, I said, "Cool, but I'm leavin' my pants on (What U say?)
Cuz I'm kinda goin' with someone"
She said, "Sound like a real man 2 me
Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Oh, my favorite song," she said
And it was Joni singin', "Help me, I think I'm falling"
Brrring! The phone rang and she said
"Whoever's callin' can't b as cute as U"
Right then and there I knew I was thru
Dorothy Parker was cool
Well...

My pants were wet, they came off
But she didn't see the movie cuz she hadn't read the book 1st
Instead she pretended she was blind
An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh (Haha-haha)
I felt much better so I went back, huh, 2 the violent room
(Tell us what U did, what U did) Let me tell U what I did

I took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time I'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker...
Dorothy Parker...

Well...
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well...
Oh


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